Have you ever found yourself in a season of life where you’re confused, unsure, and positive that God must have put you in the wrong place?
Well, that was me about two months ago. Anyone that knows me well, knows that I strongly dislike goodbyes of any kind, mostly because I don’t like leaving. Whether it’s leaving college to go home even just for a week, or returning back to college from that same week I CRY… and not just a simple tear up or subtle cry… I SOB. In fact, sweet Lizzie just always happens to be there when I am either leaving or returning and has witnessed this TOO many times. (you should ask her about the spices lol.. ;))
This last time of leaving college for the summer was no different. Lizzie and I stood sobbing in the parking lot at the thought of having to leave the people and the place we love so dearly for three and a half months. That next day as I was driving home I couldn’t help but just cry and think about how God must’ve gotten it wrong. I was headed back home, and don’t get me wrong I love my home, it’s just not where I saw myself for this summer. Not only that, but the only things waiting for me at home were an internship in a field I don’t know if I want to go into in my future and only a couple of friends, as many of them were scattered about in their respective college towns over the summer.
So this time, the sobbing came with uncertainty and doubt… and unlike usual, it didn’t stop for days. However, as slow as they may have been, those days did go by, and I picked myself up determined to unpack my bags right here in Omaha, because for some reason it was where God had me for this season. And I don’t mean physically unpack (I had angrily done that the day after returning), but I mean unpack in every sense of the word. I decided that my roots were meant to grow here for the time being and so I was going to make the most of every moment. I was determined to grow spiritually, emotionally, relationally, etc.
And y’all can I tell ya that JESUS DELIVERS!! I sit here today just 35 days from returning to the place I love, which seems like a lot, but considering I’ll be out of town 20 of those, it’s SO soon. This summer, I met new people, learned new skills, and grew professionally more than I knew was possible in such a short time. I hung out with those few friends from home and got SO much closer to them. I joined a young adults small group and started volunteering in youth at my church again weekly. I reconnected with old friends, and most importantly grew closer in my relationship with Jesus than I ever have. This summer has been nothing short of a life giving breath of fresh air.
I was talking to a friend this morning and we were discussing returning to college… and ya know what? I told her I am excited, but I’m gonna MISS it here, A LOT. It was never what I wanted, but Jesus KNEW it was what I needed.
So, if you find yourself in a season of disorientation and confusion, I’m not promising it will be easy, in fact I can probably bet you it’s gonna suck for a while. But, I dare you to unpack your bags. I dare you to see what Jesus will do if you let him, no matter where you think you should be instead.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11
with all my love,
Elizabeth Ann
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