For the one struggling with being alone, feeling alone, and/or feeling as if your presence is not of value:
(Spoiler alert: feelings are real but not always true. Your feelings matter.)
Currently, it is Saturday night, and I sit in my dorm room eating ramen noodles (gross and unhealthy, I know) and sipping on some cheap, random tea I bought at Walmart in an effort to bring me solace on nights like these. (Don't worry, I question my logic, too.)
I am lonely.
"If you know the Lord then you have no reason to be lonely, He is with you always!" "Your value is not contingent upon the amount of people who like you." "You don't need friends to have worth." "Just because they don't invite you doesn't mean they don't like you." "There are plenty of fish in the sea."
In response to these statements from those of us who struggle with loneliness: thank you, really, from the bottom of our hearts. You're trying to relate and to help, and we thank you! But, truth is? You simply do not understand the crippling hold of loneliness.
Now, before I continue, let me just say: each of these statements are true.
But just because they're true doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
Maybe you have friends that don't include you, maybe you don't have friends at all. Maybe you have the best family but you don't feel a part, maybe you don't have a family at all. Maybe the people who were supposed to love you, didn't. Maybe your loneliness has nothing to do with the physical presence of people, and is completely inside of you. Loneliness comes in many shapes and sizes. It is not to be messed with and not to be downsized.
But, the point of this post, really, is to let you know: you are not alone.
I mean, here I am in college in a big city, surrounded by people and things to do and what am I? I am lonely, too.
But if we are not alone in being lonely... then we are even alone at all?
With that, I'd like to present these thoughts to you (in list form, of course):
Feeling lonely is normal. You get lonely, I get lonely, and that girl who has her whole life together? Yeah, she gets lonely too. Loneliness is normal and nothing to be ashamed of.It is possible to be alone and not to be lonely: there's a (very important) difference. Learning to be content with being alone is one of the hardest things to learn. I've been intentionally working on this for years and I haven't even gotten close to mastering it. But, as terrible as those nights seem- whether they're everyday or every once in a while- there is something beautiful about being alone. Strive to find it.Loneliness doesn't stay forever.
My promise to you, from the start to the end, is that I would write to you about the things that we really feel, without throwing the blanket of "it'll be okay" over it (even though, it really will!). But this post isn't about flinging negativity around. SO, while being completely real, I must leave you with this:
Regardless of who left, who moved on from you, who treated you as second best, or who left you out, etc.: you matter, and your loneliness does not make you less worthy; it simply makes you lonely.
And, while there's no shame in being lonely, it's imperative that we, together, discover the beauty in contentment of being alone...
...because once you're content within yourself, you're invincible, and the presence of people is simply a plus.
And, you know the best part? The One who hung the stars has YOU on His mind. And that is a promise.
So, since being lonely is so unbearable, know that you don't have to be.
You have me and all of the people reading this blog, feeling the same exact thing... and, best of all, you have Him, the creator of our very hearts...
...xoxo.
"For I am convinced [and continue to be convinced- beyond any doubt] that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present and threatening, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, not any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the [unlimited] love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 8:38-39
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